Friday, January 24, 2014

Old Man at the Library

For once, the old man in the story is not myself, but an actual old man, a man, who still wears a hat and a sportscoat to go to the library.  He had grey hair and enlarged ears and nose.  On a normal day, he would've been just another codger waiting to die at Internet Terminal 4, but today this man took the leap.

So, I, foolishly deciding to return my two day overdue library books at 3 PM on a Friday nearly hit a car, two children and was almost reversed T-Boned by a car backing up as I stopped to avoid the children who believed it was their god given right to stand in the middle of the parking lot, oblivious to the fact that someone might drive and park a car in this lot.  Sadly, if this is the future of America, we are right, truly fucked.  Not just because of the incompetence and corruption necessary to run a government, but because future generations may lack the skills to tie their shoes or hold jobs to pay taxes.

Entering the library, I return my overdue books, find a book I want to take out to sit in my apartment for the next two weeks, unread, so I can return that in a few weeks and decide that I would prefer not to play pinball backing my car out of the lot, so I head toward the back of the library to pass some time. 

On the right hand side of the library, there is the ubiquitous line of computers allowing patrons to access the internet.  Usually, I walk right by without even noticing these fine machines.  However, today, the elderly patron at Internet Terminal 4 caught my eye.  He seemed happy, which in an elderly person is either frightening or an early warning sign of dementia.  He was so happy, that I looked at his screen.  Now, let me warn you, there were no pornographic images on the computer, which would've completed his smile with a simple story. 

Instead, there was a news headline, Nintendo Wii Made Me Nympho!  For a brief moment, I thought perhaps I was wrong, but underneath the man had a print out which he was furiously scribbling on, with the headline, Wii Fit Injury Made Me a Sex Addict.  Now, let me tell you, I braved the internet to read these articles for you and can tell you there was nothing titillating about either of these articles, but here was our older codger thinking this was the best thing that ever existed. 

Part of me is glad Internet Terminal 4 kept it in his pants, but the rest of me was chose to look this up at the library, on one of the internet terminals facing the entire library, rather than a back window used by no one, around 3 PM, when there were to my estimation, 20 to 30 children between the ages of 6 and 14 around?  Sir, while I think your pursuit of knowledge is noble, I would prefer you perform your video game nymphomania research to a more private space.  I'm not thinking of the children, but I'm sure someone else was. 

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